What's New at CBH
My Life as an Aspie
My name is Katie Brazier. I'm 32 years old. I've lived in
Williamsburg for almost 16 years. I graduated from LHS in 1998 and
from BC in May 2002.
I love Politics and have worked in 4 presidential campaigns and
many state & local campaigns. I love going door to door and
meeting people and talking to them about the issues of the day and
the candidates I support.
I love ballroom dancing. I've been dancing for 6 years now and
have gotten quite good. I go to social dances at least once a week
and I'm always taking lessons. Who knows, I might become an
instructor.
I also love to cook; I consider myself the ultimate gourmet home
cook. I have attended technique classes. I've converted most
recipes I use to the WW point system so that I eat and maintain a
healthy lifestyle. I've incorporated this interest into a food blog
and in 3 years have over 19,000 hits.
I love acting and have been in half a dozen productions around
Williamsburg. I love music and at one time was an accomplished
flutist. I played in Junior District in Mass. I especially love to
travel and have been lucky enough to have been to many foreign
countries and done some adventurous things such as horseback riding
around the pyramids in Egypt at sunset, walked the Great Wall of
China, scouted the medinas of Morocco and rode an elephant down the
mountain trails in Thailand.
I am a devoted fan of the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics and BC
Eagles.
I love reading. I love the movies.
I sound like typical person. But I am not. I am different.
I am ASPERGER! Asperger's makes my life journey through the
neurotypical world very confusing and tiring. It depletes my
energy, overstimulates me at times and frustrates me on a regular
basis.
Asperger's Syndrome is a neurological disorder/condition on the
autism spectrum, often referred to as a high-functioning autism. We
are usually normal to above-average intelligence. It affects in
some form 1 in 150 people. Some statistics claim 1 in 75 people
exhibit symptoms.
This disorder in the brain affects a number of abilities:
The ability to communicate.
The ability to make and keep friends.
The ability to carry out every day social situations.
The ability to deal with change.
We often have problems with abstract thinking, motor and
coordination skills and recognizing and coping with
emotions.
We experience life differently, often behave differently and
have different attitudes, interests, needs and value.
We have problems
Maintaining eye contact
Standing a comfortable distance
Regulating the volume of our voice
Reading nonverbal cues of the other person
Aspies (individuals with Asperger's Disorder) do well following
explicit rules - rules that are well formulated, detailed and
written specifically.
Aspies have trouble in social situations because the rules
are
unwritten and vague. In contrast, a Neurotypical has learned
intuitively
to understand the relative importance of social rules and
tend to follow them automatically.
Aspies, unaware of the rules, fail to recognize the
consequences of the actions and create a whole new set of
problems for themselves.
Aspies do very well with one-on-one communication because
there is less stimuli and less information to process at
once.
An Aspie's ability to think abstractly is very difficult. We
think
in concrete terms and take language literally.
We have difficulty with figures of speech, inference and
sarcasm.
We differ with Neurotypicals in the way we perceive and express
emotions.
Since many neurotypicals base friendships on sharing
feelings, this creates a barrier to successful friendships.
Aspies are unaware of their own feelings, confused about them or
do
not know how to communicate them to others.
Being unable to vent and process feelings, the Aspie tends
to
get stuck in a feeling.
Some Aspies have difficulties related to strong sensory
reactions
such as light, sounds, touch and become overstimulated.
Aspies can be clumsy or have trouble seeing themselves in
space.
How Asperger's has Affected My Life:
I'm an only child born to parents in their later years. I was 3
years old when the principal of a Montessori school diagnosed me as
autistic. My pediatrician (who was one of the leading doctors at
Children's Hospital in Boston) completely dismissed this claim. I
didn't attend Montessori after that incident.
However, every school year there was an issue with children and/or
teachers. My mother constantly sought a diagnosis and was
discouraged by all.
This was the 1980's and there was no Asperger's diagnosis. Other
children sought me out at school but I really had no interest in
them. At first they were fun but I quickly got bored with their
lives and wanted to go back into my own world.
My grades varied from A's and B's in 5 years of Latin to failure
in English literature.
My parents were frustrated, my teachers were frustrated and most
importantly I was frustrated. Teachers became impatient with me and
this gave some kids permission to be incredibly cruel.
But I was a happy person. I got up every morning happy but almost
every day your neurotypical world would wear me down and send me to
bed crying.
I was FINALLY diagnosed as a "textbook" Asperger at age 23 I had
graduated from college at this point. Finding out that I was not
stupid, not inferior - only DIFFERENT. A lot of social skills can
be learned. People that annoy me can be avoided and SCHOOL WAS
NEVER COMING BACK.
I've learned to de-stimulate myself if the world becomes too
overpowering. I find people I can trust to help me navigate the
social world.
I accept myself. My world is black and white - no gray areas. I do
not understand nuance (shades of difference). I have no ability to
put myself in other people shoes but I have learned social niceties
to get along. There are areas of the world that will never interest
me and there will be areas of employment that are not within my
brain's function.
The last ten years in the neurotypical world of employment has
been very challenging. I have chosen not to disclose my Asperger to
employers for a variety of reasons. This makes it difficult when I
begin to show symptoms. I am currently working part-time for an
employer who has a member in her family on the spectrum. Her
understanding makes it so much easier for me to be successful on my
job.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH US. WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE FIXED. WE ARE
DIFFERENT. WE CAN LIVE IN THIS NEUROTYPICAL WORLD AND BE
SUCCESSFUL
We must be careful not to let society or others define success for
us. We must define ourselves. My favorite poem was written by Ralph
Waldo Emerson.
What Is Success
To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
SO LET'S FIND OUR HAPPY SPOT! BE SUCCESSFUL! BE HAPPY. LOVE
YOURSELF.